Space Football! It’s like regular spaceball, except you play it with your feet. And back at the Academy, Piper was on the cheer squad for the school team, the Fightin’ Atheists. And Benjamin, who was too young to cheerlead, got to play the mascot, a pine marten. (This mascot was chosen because the pine marten is nature’s atheist, and also because the giant foam Christopher Hitchens was scaring small children.)
There will have been much innovation in sport over the next 4000 years, and actual balls are no longer used. Instead, the “ball” is a cube made out of a randomly chosen material. It’s also legal to redraw boundary lines to your advantage, so long as you aren’t caught doing it, which is why a veteran groundskeeper like Rusty is a must, and forms an unofficial 12th position. The other positions consists of three Kickers, four Runners, an Oaf, two Wallflowers, and a Goalie. In 7881, after a long string of 0-0 ties caused by granite or lead play cubes being too slow and easy to intercept, the Gronman Amendment was added to the rule book. This rule requires all Goalies to be at least seven months pregnant at time of play, so there is a lot of turnover in this position throughout the year. Several other amendments were added in the 7930s, specifically barring dogs, chimps, pigs, and pairs of small children on each others’ shoulders from the field.