Hola! It’s time to take another look at the wonderful world of Silver Age Wonder Woman. But today we’re not looking at the comic itself, but at one of the many educational supplements used as filler. So you’ll just have to wait until another day for the rundown on that one story where Wonder Woman ate the world’s largest pizza for charity.
Like most comics of the day, Wonder Woman had its share of extra comics teaching us that music’s not just for sissies and that Superman doesn’t like it when you don’t place your bike properly in the bike rack, but it also had something unique – text-only pages with information about women’s history! Very progressive, eh? Well, let’s take a look at some of this important information. Today’s excerpts are all about
“From crude drawings found in caves and from the tools that have been found by archaeologists, it is possible to piece together some idea of how pre-historic women lived.”
Also they filled in some of blanks by consulting famed archaeologist Johnny Hart. So what do we know about prehistoric women?
“But often, when animals threatened, the men remained home, armed with their clubs and crude axes to drive off the early wolves and other beasts, while their wives huddled in a corner of the cave.”
They were wimps! Thanks for the heads up, science! We know this, of course, from examining the femurs of cro-magnon females, which tended to display striations associated with lifelong terrified huddling.
“It was about this that the women began complaining about the caves they had to live in. It was too cramped, and almost impossible to keep clean.”
And their husbands were always sneaking off behind the cave for a Winston break.
“Prehistoric women really came into their own when some anonymous genius in the year 75,000 B.C. discovered that he could start a fire by rubbing two sticks together.”
Not so anonymous that we don’t know it was a guy, of course! Anyway, this was important because now women could finally find the self-actualization only cooking dinner can provide.
“But in cannot be said that women really came into their own until about 10,000 years ago. For it was then that they began to string crude beads together to wear around the neck as a necklace, or around the arm as a bracelet.”
8,000 BC: BAUBLES INVENTED! PRETTY LADYKIND REJOICES!
Well, I’ve got to go – my Amazon omni-receiver is summoning me to another exciting adventure! See you soon!